Then, there is the fact that it had been a week and that Michael guy didn't call, and he was a nice guy so that means I'm officially out of nice guys, and after praying for it for so long... I wish I had them back. Mean guys have never liked me, even though I adored them, and now nice guys don't see it either. So I have been trying to make amends with some of my old companions which were too nice before and are exactly what I need now. I'm trying to befriend Billy (Lord give me strength) and Mark, which my parents are extremely excited about.
I am so uber frustrated with life.
I don't know, I guess really I'm sorta upset about this Ian thing. I don't know if anyone out there knows what its like to love someone and then have them stop loving you... but it sucks. I guess I did this to Ian first, but I think I've been punished enough. I wish that I would stop trying to find something better and just be comfortable with whom I'm with. If I would do that then I would still be with Ian, and this entry never would have existed. Don't you wish?